Got the music blasting and cleaning like a mad woman.. I rarely ever get in the mood to REALLY clean like this.. so I am taking full advantage and it feels great! Yesterday was my first day of work and it went pretty good. It was pretty much like an orientation.. I had to watch like 15 videos. And I fell asleep soooo many times.. But the boss is really cool.. So, that in itself is making me feel so much better about everything. The fact that I will be starting to make money. It wont be a whole lot, or near enough of what I would like to be making.. but nobody really makes that when they first start off.. so I will hold it in there… atleast its a steady job, and thats more than some people can say.. so for that I am grateful. Well people, back to cleaning! Peace!~
Well, this Christmas has been the most horrific one yet. Chris wasn’t here, Jacan wasn’t here. 2nd Christmas without my brother.. And I stayed drunk for 3 days straight and didn’t attend any family functions. Loser right? Well, needless to say- I’m so glad this is over.. And please somebody tell me why is it so hard for me to be alone? I’ll never understand!
On a brighter note:
My first day of work is tomorrow! Excited to be back in the salon and working for some money! Wish me luck!
As far as today, I have sat at this computer literally all day. I dont feel like anything else could possibly be thrilling to me. Good news, is that tomorrow I have an interview. It’s at the ‘Smart Style’ in Wal-Mart. But Hey, atleast it’s something. Im feeling so depressed right now though because I am not involved in anything and dont have any kind of purpose. Hopefully when I get a job, that will all work itself out. I just dont want to end up at another dead end job.. which it seems like this walamrt job is.. But, maybe I can build a clientele there. Then, maybe they could follow me to a better place where I could pay booth rent. Until then, I guess I am going to be working for minimum wage.. :( wish I could get something good
So this is me today. Just coming back from my baby’s Christmas skit for his school. Just talked to Chris on Skype. That man brings so many smiles to my face it is unreal. Sometimes, I take him for granted.. and I don’t appreciate who he is and what he does in my life. But I am human.. so somebody just slap me every now and then. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better for me or for my son. He loves Jacan like he is his own. And Jacan loves him more than he loves me.. lol. But I really wish Chris could be here with us for the holidays. It is sad that I will be here alone. Hopefully maybe I can go sleep at my mom’s or something so I really aint all by myself. Anyways.. back to paying bills… oh and btw SCREW DirectTV… they suck BALLS!
TBH This is me.. after years of drug abuse. Weighing about 110 pounds. THANK GOD I have gotten away from that lifestyle, and it was so worth every struggle. Even all of the weight I have put on since then. Those were some of the most lonely, confusing times of my life. I blamed everyone else for my problems. I am glad I have matured into the women I am now and hope to maybe inspire someone who is now in the same situation that I was.. there is hope!
THIS RIGHT HERE is my baby Jacan. He is 4. He is a very active.. sometimes annoying little boy.. but he is my baby. He is what Ive created. He has made me a better person.. Before him.. I lived for myself. Now, I know what its like to live your life right for the better of someone. I love you baby boy. Looking forward to many years of watching you grow and succeed in everything you do.
